Something in your eyes
by Rosslyn Verity
Summary: The daughter she gave up years ago has suddenly stepped back into her life, bringing with her everything she ever wanted, and nothing she ever expected. As they get to know one another, Addison realizes that the fairytale life she imagined for her daughter is not exactly what she got. (repost of an old edited story, i totally forget what the summary used to say :P)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there, for those of you who don't know, this is an old story I'm reposting. Please review if you like it but the story is complete so all chapter will be posted pretty quickly I'm hoping.**

* * *

Set after Private Practice 2x4

 **Something in your eyes**

The water poured down over her thin shoulders as she tilted her head up allowing the steady stream to cover her face and run through her dark hair. She glanced as the thick rope that hung from the piping overhead that trailed down to the noose that hung around her neck. Watching the water swirl down the rusted drain as she stepped up onto the side of the grimy shower, the length of the rope in hand as she prepared to jump and pull simultaneously, hanging herself before anyone would ever notice.

The air was squeezed from her chest as the noose closed over her throat. Her feet dangled barely above the ground and her hands involuntarily began to grasp at the rope around her throat as her body prayed for air. Her mind, however, had made peace with the fact long ago, that she was an unwanted waste of space. As her vision began to blur, she closed her eyes to escape the stars only to feel the rope suddenly give way and to be yanked roughly from her solstice.

Her chest heaved as the air rushed into her lungs and something cold pressed against her throat and a sharp pain forced her eyes to flutter open.

"You are so fucking stupid." He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her down hard on the floor. Her head created a sickening crack as it connected with the cement beneath them.

She tried to push him off her but his fist collided with her cheek, once again knocking her back as he stood up and without missing a beat kicked her hard in the ribs, forcing the girl to curl into herself before pointing a shaking finger at her, "You don't get to leave until I say you get to leave, do you understand me?"

* * *

Addison Forbes Montgomery strode through Oceanside Wellness, her heels clicking beneath her on the hardwood as she inhaled deeply and let out a happy sigh. She was content; things were starting to finally work their way back onto track. She had only two patients later this afternoon and the rest of the day to catch up on administrative duties. An attractive SWAT officer, Jason, was waiting at home.

She glanced Naomi across the room and sighed. Okay, so things weren't exactly perfect, but before she could dwell too much on the issues with her friend, she was distracted by a young girl sitting in the lobby. She couldn't be more than 16 or 17 years old and her downcast eyes were hidden by her dark brown waves that fell over her face. Before Addison even knew what she was doing she was striding over to the girl.

"Has someone been out to see you?" she asked.

The girl looked up, the sun catching on the natural streaks of auburn that strung their way through her hair, but that was not what Addison was looking at. Her eyes were locked on from what she could tell was bruised cheek and she barely noticed the girls light blue eyes darting around.

A pale hand reached up to gingerly touch the bruise, "It's not as bad as it looks." She offered.

"Why don't you come on back and we'll take a look." Addison indicated to her office but kept her eyes on the girl as she gave her a once over.

"Oh no." the girl replied a little too forcefully, as she got to her feet and made to leave, "I don't have health insurance."

"Well then it will be our little secret." Addison replied cautiously reaching out to her, but she flinched away and Addison retracted her hand. "What's your name?"

The girls eyes darted towards the door and back to Addison, "Avery." She replied.

"Avery." Addison repeated and the girl sighed and with a small nod, gave in. Addison led the way, glancing behind her every so often to make sure the girl hadn't bolted. As she held the door open behind her, "I'll be right back. Can I get you anything?" Avery shook her head and Addison nodded briefly as her brow creased in worry.

Addison left, leaving the door open, Avery let out a shaky breath. _"What the hell are you doing?"_ she thought to herself.

Avery had visited the clinic only once before about a year earlier. Long before her attempt to take her own life, she had found out the name of her birth mother and decided that she had to see her before she died.

She remembered thinking that she was beautiful and must be talented, she had an air of sophistication and elegance about her. But she had been sad, and that had been all the confirmation the 17 year old needed to confirm her decision. _"I shouldn't be here"_ she thought to herself as she began pushing herself from the chair.

"I got you a glass of water." Addison's voice rang through her ears and she sank back into the chair.

Avery murmured a "thank-you".

"So, what brings you here Avery?" she asked, clasping her hands together and resting them on her desk.

 _You!_ Avery wanted to scream, but she didn't. She was mad, sad, scared, confused, she opened her mouth and closed it several times, waiting for the words to come, but they never did.

"How old are you? "Addison asked sensing the girls discomfort.

"17." She choked out, her voice hoarse as she reached for the water.

"Where are your parents?" Addison asked as she watched the girl look down again and shake her head.

"No parents…" Addison said slowly. "What happened here?" she reached across and brushed her thumb across the girls cheek.

"I-I-I fell, I was drinking, and I'm clumsy." Avery bit out.

Addison raised her eyebrows, "You were drinking?"

Avery's expression suddenly changed, "Yeah, that's what us street kids do." She snapped defensively a little too defensively.

Addison took it in stride, "So that brings me back to my first question. What brings you here?" even as the question was leaving her mouth it dawned on her. It was the girls eyes, they were familiar, her hair too, and the thin shape of her face and lips, her delicate hands. "Are you…Do I know you?"

Avery snorted, "Definitely not." She pushed the chair back, "I have to go."

Addison stood, "Wait..."

Avery kept her back to Addison, that woman, her mother, but before she left, she turned around, tears rimming her blue eyes, "We come from different worlds, how could you know me, you never gave me a chance." And with that she was gone, leaving Addison to sink back into her chair feeling more helpless than ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there, these will come quick since they're already written. Kind of fun to be editing and touching them up.**

 **Please let me know what you think.**

 **Thanks!**

* * *

 **Ghosts From Our Past**

Avery rested against the outside of the cool building, catching her breath for only a moment as she fought the rising panic in her chest. She cursed under her breath before regaining her composure and stalking away before anyone could follow her.

* * *

"It's not possible." Addison was muttering to herself, "It's not-" she ran her hands through her hair pulling at it in frustration and worry. "This can't be happening." She grabbed her coat that was hanging over the chair and quickly left her office.

"Addison?" Pete asked poking his head out of his office in concern to which she only raised her hand to him as she headed for the elevators.

* * *

Addison burst into Kevin's office. It hadn't been hard, they new her there, sort of, but showing up announced with a panicked look in her eye was very uncharacteristic, "Addison?" Kevin asked looking up from his desk in concern and shock, "What's wrong?"

Addison blinked, she wanted to scream but instead inhaled deeply as she attempted to calm herself down.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, waiting a moment for her response, which was usually so put together, when she didn't answer, he went over to her and gently took her chin, directing her eyes to his, "Hey" he said softly, "Tell me what's going on."

Addison wrung her hands together as she sank down onto a nearby chair, "Um" she paused, "I think" another pause, "Well actually, I know," she looked at him and bit her lip, "About 17 years ago I got pregnant, and, I just, I couldn't have a baby, not while I was in the middle of school, so I gave her up for adoption."

"Okay…" he followed her hesitantly, leaning back against his desk to take her in.

Addison stared straight ahead, "I think she came into my office today" she looked at him. "I think she's in some sort of trouble. I have to find her."

"Did you get her name, address?" Kevin asked thoughtfully.

"Avery." She answered, "Her name is Avery. She lives on the streets and she drinks and _God_ she's just a baby" she shook her head, "and someone's hurting her, and I…" her hands dropped into her lap, "I can't do anything about it."

"Addison this isn't your fault." He told her.

"Isn't it?" she asked, "I let her go. I let her get hurt."

"You don't even know if she's your daughter."

Addison turned on him, "She is. I know."

"How? Just because you feel a pull to this girl doesn't mean-"

"Something in her eyes tells me she's mine, now are you going to help me or not?" she demanded of him.

* * *

"Where the hell were you?" a tall man towered over her petite frame, casting her into his shadows.

"I went to the jump off a bridge." She shot back sarcastically, her eyes narrowing in contempt. He moved to back hand her but she caught his arm avoided being hit.

"Fuck off Robbie." She snapped, pushing him away as he turned to glare at her.

"You did not just do that." He growled.

"You can't just treat me like one of your girls, ass face." She threw back at him, "I'm your girlfriend."

"My girlfriend who tried to kill herself." He shot back.

"So?"

"SO!" he roared, crossing the distance between them, "You cannot leave me!" he grabbed her arm and dragged her towards their room and pushed her onto the bed roughly.

"Get off me Rob, I'm not in the mood." She struggled with him as he grabbed a syringe off the bedside table. " _Don't!_ " she struggled against him harder but he was too strong and eventually succeeded in pushing the drug into a vein in her arm and in a moment her struggling ceased and he began pulling at her pants.

"Girlfriend or not" he grunted as he climbed on top of her, "I own you."

* * *

Avery woke up feeling dizzy; her head pounded as she pushed herself onto her elbows and pulled a dirty sheet around her naked body in the dank room.

She closed her eyes and listened carefully to the sweet sound of nothing. Robbie was out. She snorted at the irony of it all, she did need him, she owed him her life, he took her off the streets, despite the fact they lived in the mouldy basement of his crack dealers house.

She was just 14 when Robbie found her, living on the streets hungry after running away from her latest foster parents house. Even at the best of time, they had insisted on treating her no better than the dog.

Robbie was different, he cared for her, and he only hurt her when she did things that were wrong, at least that's what she used to think. She owed him, that she knew, but she needed something more, or less, she couldn't tell. With his help she had finished high school but she wanted to go to college, she didn't want to be a dead end street kid. One thing she did know what she couldn't continue to go on like this. Because this life sucked.

Without conscious thought, and against her better judgment she found herself pulling on her clothes and making her way out of the house and down the trail that led to the beach. Robbie wouldn't be back until sunrise and the house that smelled like urine and blood made her feel sick to her stomach.

She sat down onto the beach, pulled her knees to her chest for warmth and rested her chin atop them. She stayed that way for a long time, as the wind kissed her cheeks she sprawled back into the sand and staring up at the stars, feel into a restless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the kind reviews and for those of you who have read before, thank you for re-reading.**

 **Someone mentioned the similarity to 13 Reasons Why, which I never really considered until now, funny how things work out eh?**

* * *

 **More than a memory**

One week later.

Addison had tossed and turned all night as feelings of worry and guilt wracked her stomach. It had been one full week but the words still haunted her _"We come from different worlds, how could you know me, you never gave me a chance."_

Kevin had attempted to search but with so little information it had proved unsuccessful. They had spent their evenings contacting Family and Children Services in New York with no luck and Addison bit her lip as she contemplated wether it would be better to fly to New York and harass them there or if putting out a missing persons report here was too much. She walked towards the practice, hoping she hadn't screwed up her only chance with her _only_ daughter when she caught sight of familiar head of hair and even with her back turned, Addison knew it was her. Her breath caught in her throat and her stomach dropped as she realized she had no idea what to do.

Avery turned around, her face covered by large aviators that gave her a bug-like appearance as she puffed daintily on a cigarette. Without conscious thought, and against her better judgment she had once again found herself outside Oceanside Wellness Centre.

Addison approached her, "Are you even old enough to buy those?"

Avery shrugged, "I have my ways." She replied, blowing a smoke ring in Addison's general direction who fanned away the smoke.

"What are you doing here, I thought-"

"You thought wrong." Avery cut her off watching in mild amusement as Addison's mouth hung open.

Avery took a deep breath, just as Addison spoke,

-"Look-"

-"I can-"

They both quieted, and Addison eyed the girl carefully before proceeding, "I can take the day off, if you want to get some food and talk." She said quietly, she watched to gage the girls reaction, was it too much too fast? Not enough?

Avery shook her head, "I don't want to mess up your day. It's…an inconvenience." She muttered under her breath.

"It's not." Addison sought out her eyes. "Will you wait for me?" Avery looked up, "Or you're welcome to come in."

Avery glanced around before before shaking her head; she didn't see Robbie lurking behind the steering wheel of his car but she didn't want to take any chances, "I'll wait here."

"I'll just be a minute." Addison informed her as she watched the girl falter, her eyes once again darting around her surroundings.

"Are you sure?" Avery cleared her throat, "Because, I uh, I just meant, you don't have to do this."

Addison didn't hesitate, "I know," she replied keeping her eyes locked on the girl a moment before giving a nod and heading quickly inside. She road the elevator, tapping her foot impatiently as if urging it to move fast, when the elevator door opened she immediately headed to the reception desk and leaned over to Dell. "I'm going to need you to clear my schedule for the day

Dell looked up at Addison, "Are you okay?"

Addison frowned, "I'll be fine," she replied forcing a smile before turning on her heel and heading to the lunch room.

"Naomi? Can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?" Addison asked her friend. "Alone." She added when no one made any move to change what they were doing as per her request.

Naomi barely glanced up, "Whatever it is you want to say you can say it here."

"This isn't really…"

"Look, I don't have time for this." Naomi collected her things, "I have patients."

Addison sighed, "I'm going to be out for the rest of the day." She told the others.

Sam's brow furrowed, "What's going on? he asked from behind his coffee mug.

Addison ignored him before looking to the other woman in the room, "Violet I may need to borrow you at some point."

The other woman nodded, "Okay, is there-"

"Later." Addison replied, spinning on her heel and heading back to the street

* * *

Addison's heart was pounding as she stepped through the front door, and relief flooded though her when she found Avery leaning back against the building. She smiled at the girl, "Everything is taken care of." She announced.

"Are you sure-"

"I'm sure." Addison replied, she had never been more sure about anything.

* * *

Addison watched as Avery poked at her mandarin salad with a fork, turning over the leaves, but not lifting them to her mouth.

Avery could feel Addison's eyes on her. This had to be the most uncomfortable meal she had every sat through, and that was saying something.

"Do you want something else?" Addison asked.

Avery's hand shook as she stabbed a lettuce leaf and shook her head before taking a bite. Addison had brought her to one of the upscale beach café's and the salad alone was going to be more than she could afford.

Not to mention how awkward she felt in her ripped jeans and long sleeve t-shirt. But Addison didn't seem to mind at all. She noted as the older woman gulped down a large sip of her wine. Though she did seem nervous.

"Have some water." Addison pushed the glass towards her.

Avery accepted the glass but cast her eyes downward, narrowing them in contempt, before she looked up, ready to tell this woman off. To tell her that she couldn't just waltz into her life and, well, okay, perhaps it was _her_ who had waltzed into Addison's life, completely unannounced. But that didn't give her the right to mother her. She lost all her mothering rights when she gave her up.

Opening her mouth to give her supposed mother a piece of her mind, she caught sight of a rusted blue Cadillac and nearly choked on her own spit. "Shit."

"What?" Addison's brow furrowed in concern as she looked from the girl, to her line of sight, and back to the girl.

"I, uh, I have to go." She scrambled through her worn rug sack and threw a twenty and a wad of ones down onto the table. She locked eyes with Robbie as the car started up. "I'm sorry, I-" she was nearly hyperventilating. He was going to kill her, and then he was going to kill Addison, but she didn't get the chance to leave before everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews, someone asked if I've changed the story from before - I'm about 2/3rds of the way through reviewing and so far no major plot changes but you never know because I honestly forget how it ends!

Please keep up the reviews, it just means quick uploads and stops me from getting distracted :P

* * *

 **I was doing just fine before I met you**

"Easy, easy" a voice that seemed so very far away soothed.

Addison was on the ground kneeling beside Avery's heads checking her pulse. She brushed the back of her hand momentarily against her pale forehead that was beaded with sweat.

"The ambulance is on its way." One of the servers informed Addison as another insisted the other patrons return to their seats.

The darkness was beginning to fade and Addison's face came into view. When she realized what had happened, Avery immediately pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Careful." Addison's arms shot out to steady her.

"Look." Avery attempted to push herself unsteadily to her feet, "I appreciate your _overwhelming_ concern, but I'm fine." She grasped the railing for support as her vision tunnelled again and she forced herself to focus on the street. The cars whizzed by but Robbie and the Cadillac were nowhere to be found.

"From where I'm standing you are anything _but_ fine," Addison replied as she appeared beside Avery, startling the girl who quickly hid her unease.

"In case you haven't noticed, I can take care of myself, I've been doing it for a long time." Avery snapped, glaring at Addison a moment before realizing that her long sleeves had been rolled up, probably to check her pulse, but at the moment she couldn't bring herself care what the reason was. "I'm out of here," Avery muttered, yanking down her sleeves as she went to grab her bag but Addison caught her gently by the arm.

"The only place you're going is to the hospital." Addison's tone was gentle but firm as she locked eyes with Avery.

"This is ridiculous." Avery grumbled, arms crossed protectively over her chest. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." Addison told her more firmly this time, getting a little sick of the tough girl routine Avery seemed to be putting up, "When are you going to realize that?"

* * *

A doctor pulled back the curtain and stepped into the room.

Avery looked from the doctor to Addison, "You can go," she told her.

Addison sighed, keeping her arms crossed in front of her as she looked between the doctor and her daughter, "I'm going to go fill out some paper work." Addison informed her, "Don't try anything." She warned only half joking as she stepped out from behind the curtain, she needed to make a few calls.

"We'd like to keep you over night for observation, but at this point, it appears that you had an anxiety attack" the doctor who had stepped into the room informed Avery as he glanced over her chart before placing it at the end of the bed, "I'll check back in a little bit."

As soon as he was gone, Avery ripped the oxygen mask from her face and yanked the iv roughly from her arm, wincing slightly as she scrambled from the bed to collect her things.

She was half way to the elevator when the doctor noticed her and her heart began to race before she darted.

"Stop that girl!" the doctor called out, "Security!"

Addison was coming into the ER with two cups of coffee when several security guards ran past her.

Her eyes widened when she saw another one struggling with Avery. "Hey!" Addison cried out, the panic in Avery's face causing her stomach to twist into a knot.

Avery's eyes were darting frantically as she struggled against the man who was attempting to hold her while the doctor tried to administer a shot into her arm.

Suddenly she caught sight of Addison her eyes pleading as beads of sweat formed on her forehead. "Help me." She croaked out. Addison began moving towards her, just as the doctor managed to get hold of one of her flailing arms and administer the shot. Avery immediately relaxed.

"I need a gurney over here." The doctor called.

* * *

Addison sat on the edge of the bed, running her fingers through Avery's hair as she slept.

"Hey."

Addison turned around, "Kevin, hey." She stood and went to him as he wrapped her in a hug and she buried her face into the crock of his neck.

"What happened?" he asked softly after a few minutes.

Addison sniffled and untangled herself from his embrace as she looked back at the girl, her daughter. "She uh…" she wiped her nose on the back of her hand, "She fainted, and then she tried to escape."

Kevin ran his hands through his hair, "Is she going to be okay?"

Addison hesitated, "They're keeping her over night for observation" She sighed. "I just, I don't know what to do…she doesn't seem to want my help."

"She might not seem like she wants your help, but she came to you for a reason Addison." Kevin told her as he rubbed her back.

Addison nodded, "The um, the blood test came back, it confirmed…" she couldn't finish the sentence as a lump formed in her throat, but Kevin knew what she meant. The tests had confirmed that Avery was in fact Addison's daughter.

Kevin nodded, "Whether she admits it or not, this girl needs you. She needs someone to take care of her, and she doesn't know how to show that, because, well she's never had it." Addison stifled a sob, "I can make a few calls" he suggested, "The fact that she's your daughter and is in an abusive situation should be enough to get you temporary custody, if you want, otherwise we can…"

"No, no." Addison cut him off, "I want custody."

* * *

Avery woke up feeling groggy, the hospital was fairly quiet and she had half a mind to attempt another escape.

But when she saw Addison asleep in the chair beside her, having camped out at her bedside all night, she couldn't quite bring herself to bail.

Instead she got to her feet, removed Addison's glasses and took a blanket from the foot of her bed and placed it over the older woman. A small, but sad smile played on her lips a moment before she crawled back into bed and settling down.

* * *

After half a day of tests and Addison running in and out, Avery was finally released.

As the two stepped out into the sunshine Avery took a deep breath of the fresh, non-hospital air.

"So what little lie did you tell them about my insurance?" Avery asked as she walked beside Addison and shook the pill bottle, inwardly wondering the street value of the pills.

"I didn't."

Avery stopped dead in her tracks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Addison took a deep breath, "I made a few calls and-" a SWAT van pulled up in front of them.

"You're having me arrested!" Avery gapped as she jumped back away from the vehicle.

Addison gave her a confused look before glancing over her shoulder, "What? No. I-" another deep breath. "You're going to be staying with me for a bit."

" _What!_ " Avery's voice was dangerously low. "No. No. No." she shook her head and began backing away, "I can't. You don't understand. I can't just go with you!"

"Why not?" Addison challenged. "Will it make _him_ mad? Let him be mad."

"You have no idea what you're doing." Her voice broke as she continued to back away.

"I can protect you Avery." Addison reached out to her.

"No." she shook her head again, "You can't."

Addison's patience was wearing thin, "Look, you either leave with me, or you leave with them." She indicated behind her at the police vehicle. Glancing over her shoulder Avery saw two cops. Addison shrugged, "Your choice."

* * *

"You realize this is blackmail." Avery finally spoke after several hours of sitting silently on Addison's couch.

"You realize you're a really easy person to boss around." Addison commented from the kitchen.

Avery cringed; she knew the woman was trying to make a joke, that all this was her way of being kind and that in any other circumstances other than the one she was in right now she probably would have cried she was so happy.

For those reasons, she didn't have the heart to yell at Addison, to tell her she had been walked over her whole life because she never had anyone to stand up for her.

Robbie was out looking for her and he wasn't very forgiving. When she didn't come home, he would continue to look, and when he found her he would make her regret that she had ever been born, until she begged for him to kill her. And he probably would, eventually, whether it were intentional or not he would, unless…Avery sighed, unsure of weather it really mattered anyways…

"Hey." Addison sat down a cup of chamomile tea in front of her. "Why don't I get you some pajamas, and I'll make up the guest bedroom for you-"

"There are a lot of windows in here." Avery cut her off as she moved to the door and fiddled with the lock, making sure it was secure before drawing the curtains and moving towards the windows, she wrapped her arms around herself, gazing out the window, half expecting Robbie to appear, "What did you say?"

"I said I would get your some p-"

"No, I mean to get temporary custody of me, usually that takes, weeks, and at least one court hearing." Avery replied, her voice void of emotions.

"Well, I've got connections in the hospitals and the police force, all it took was a couple calls to Family and Children's Services and…" Addison sighed, "you're my daughter, you're alone, there's really not much they can do."

A lump formed in Avery's throat at the word 'daughter', it was the first time either of them had spoken the actual words aloud.

"We're going to make this work Avery. I know that when-"

Avery held her hand up to halt Addison's speech, "Please" she closed her eyes, "Not tonight."

"Okay" Addison said quietly, understanding that the girl had been through a lot, she stood up, "Come on then."

"I'll sleep on the couch, you go ahead." Avery replied quietly as she pulled a throw blanket over top of her and closed her eyes, she could feel Addison looming over her, but it wasn't enough to evade the pull of sleep, it had been a long day.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for the reviews, I'm glad you think Addison is true to form, that's what I was trying for :P

Please keep it up!

* * *

 **She took the midnight train going anywhere**

Addison shuffled quietly down the stairs, still in her pyjamas, she didn't want to wake the teenager sleeping in the living room but she was also in desperate need of some coffee. A head of auburn hair popped up from behind the couch revealing the young girl, "Don't you have a job or something?"

Addison tried and failed to suppress the sigh falling from her lips, "Did I wake you?"

"Light sleeper." Avery replied as she fidgeted with the sheet over her legs without making eye contact.

Addison watched her carefully as she moved towards the coffee, "I took the day off."

Avery grimaced, "I don't need a babysitter."

Coffee now in hand, Addison nodded, "I know."

"So what? You want to _bond_ after you kidnapped me?" Avery raised an eyebrow unsure of whether to be amused or irritated.

Addison came around from behind the counter, "I did _not_ kidnap you."

Avery snorted, "Yeah okay."

"I was protecting you." Addison answered.

"You sure?" Avery asked raising an eyebrow as Addison nodded and came around to take a seat in the arm chair.

Addison sipped her coffee, "I just want to talk," she offered.

"That's nice. I don't."

"Well it seems to me you've been hanging around the clinic for a reason" Addison observed and Avery sighed.

"Yeah well…" Avery trailed off as she suddenly took an interest in the condos décor.

"I didn't mean it like-" Addison held a hand to her chest, "You came to me."

"Well you certainly weren't going to come to me." Avery looked at the older woman, she did see some resemblance, a lot actually, not that she would admit it, at least not out loud.

"See that" Addison pointed at her, " _That_ is not fair."

"I have a different perspective on the whole 'not fair' concept." Avery replied flashing a fake smile, "Thanks to you."

"I never thought that…" Addison looked up from her coffee, "Things weren't supposed to be like this. You were supposed to end up with some nice family in the Hamptons."

"Well that would be different." Avery chanced a look at Addison and when she did she saw the woman's eyes were shinning with unshed tears. "Oh God." She grumbled before jumping up from the couch, "Okay." She began pacing, "A couple things you should know about me."

Addison watched her pace back and forth, back and forth, back and, "I don't like crying or emotion or people invading my personal space. I hate being babied and I can take care of myself, I've been doing it all my life." She continued to pace, "I'm not stupid" she pointed at Addison.

"I didn't think-"

"I graduated at the top of my class" she paced before looking back at Addison, "A year early."

"How…"

"Don't ask me questions."

"But…"

"If I want you to know something I'll tell you."

"So you just want to sit in silence?" Addison asked, a slight annoyance in her tone at being bossed around by a teenager.

"Maybe, ugh, what did I just say about questions?"

"I thought you meant personal questions." Addison deadpanned.

"I meant any sort of questions." Avery snapped, pausing in her step a moment, "Okay, no, just personal questions. And you have to answer all of my questions."

"Oh, that's fair." Addison drawled, holding back from rolling her eyes.

Fixing her with a steely glare Avery grunted, "You abandoned me, remember? Not the other way around."

"So you're just going to hold this against me forever…wait, is that personal?"

"I don't know and yes."

Addison smirked, "You just answered my personal question."

"Gold star for you." Avery grunted. "And…" she wrung her hands together in a way that reminded Addison of herself, "sometimes" seemingly engaging in an internal struggle of weather or not to tell this last bit of information, "I, um, I."

"It's okay ," Addison reassured.

"Sometimes I have panic attacks." She finished hurriedly before finally taking a seat on the couch, as far away from Addison as possible.

"Is that what happened at the restaurant?" Addison asked carefully, she knew she was stepping on thin ice, but she had to know, this was her daughter after all.

Avery visibly ground her teeth, "Yes."

"Panic attacks are usually triggered by something." Addison mused, "Would you consider talking to a psychiatrist?"

"I don't think so." Avery replied quickly.

"She might be able to prescribe something for you." Addison added, "If you're willing to talk."

Avery bit her lip, "I'll think about it."

Addison smiled, "Good. So, you have questions?"

Avery nodded as a million questions swam in her mind, where to begin, "My father" croaked her voice.

Addison nodded, having expected the question, "Is a doctor, like me."

"Is he here? In L.A. I mean?"

Addison shook her head, "He's in Seattle."

The pair lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, "You have his hair." Addison finally broke it, "And his smile. He's a good man. You remind me a lot of him."

Avery's mouth was dry, she wasn't exactly sure why, "What's his name?"

"His name is Derek Shepard and he's one of the world's leading neurosurgeons."

"Wow." Avery replied, obviously impressed.

"I'm also the best in my field." Addison added, surprised by the pang of jealously that shot through her chest.

Avery nodded, but seemed unwavering in the topic, "So what happened?"

Addison took a deep breath, "We got married, and then divorced." She waited for the girl to respond.

"Neither of you wanted kids then." It was more a statement than a question.

"Well Derek always did but I wasn't ready. I got pregnant while I was in medical school, and a baby, well, it just wasn't plausible."

"So you never had any kids?"

Addison hesitated, "No…" and then hurriedly added, "Just you."

"Right." Avery fidgeted with a button on her shirt, "When did you move from New York?"

Addison narrowed her eyes, "How do you know we lived in New York?"

Avery bit her lip guilty, "Well, I was in New York so I just figured."

"Avery." Addison warned.

"Okayyyy, so I may have stolen my file." She admitted.

"What?"

"From Family and Children's Services." Avery clarified, "It only lists the birth mothers name. That's how I knew how to find you. A quick Internet search and well, it's amazing what you can do with technology these days, especially when the persons you're looking for is a world-class neonatal surgeon. It only took me like a minute to find you, which is a good thing considering if my foster Dad had found me on his computer he probably would have…"

"He hurt you?" Addison asked anger rising, creating a redness in her cheeks.

Avery lapsed into silence as she tried to fight away the memories...

" _You stupid son of a bitch" a large, balding man backed her into a corner._

" _I didn't do anything I swear." A young Avery who had now sunk to the ground and wrapped her arms around her thin frame, squeezing her eyes shut as he kicked her hard in the ribs._

 _The child bit down so hard on her bottom lip that it started to bleed but she didn't cry out._

 _This only served to infuriate him more as he grabbed her by the hair and threw her into the glass table that shattered around her, leaving her slumped in a pool of her own blood with shards of glass all around her._

Avery shook her head out of the unpleasant flashback, realizing she must have zoned out. She pushed away the panic that rose in her throat, "A lot of people have hurt me." She replied, her voice remaining even and apathetic.

The information itself had sent Addison reeling but the indifference with which it was spoken was what had broken Addison's heart. She sat frozen as a million thoughts race through her mind of things she should have done, would have done, differently if she'd have known. God, she was a terrible person. A terrible mother. "I'm _so_ sorry." Was all she could muster.

Avery shrugged, "What's done is done."

Addison closed her eyes, allowing herself a minute, "How long have you known?"

Avery knew exactly what she was talking about, "A while." When Addison continued to stare, "A few years." She inhaled deeply, "After my last foster home didn't work out I hoped a train to the coast with some cash I had saved and hitch hiked down here."

"Hitch hiked." Addison echoed.

"To you."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews, the more reviews the faster the updates. I know it's greedy but I just love them :)

PS I realized this story ends up a *little* bit of a greys anatomy cross over.

* * *

 **Tides of change**

"To me?" Addison breathed, her chest tightening.

"Yeah I just thought…I don't know…"

Addison's brow furrowed in concern, "But you didn't find me."

"No. I found Robbie instead." Avery answered as she picked at her cuticles.

A rap on the door caused Avery to nearly jump out of her skin. Addison gave her a concerned look before moving to get up.

"No!" Avery grabbed her arm, making contact with Addison for the first time since being in her home, she immediately withdrew her hand, "I mean…um… sorry," she mumbled under her breath.

"No one is going to hurt you here." Addison confirmed holding Averys stare a moment as if willing her to believe the words. After a moment, she gave her a reassuring nod before going to the door and drawing back the curtains to reveal Kevin.

"Hey." He greeted after Addison unlocked and opened the door.

"Hi." Addison said quietly, a little irritated by his interruption as she kept the door opened just a crack, "Now's not really a good time."

"I brought Chinese." He offered, holding up the bag and giving her a half hearted smile that caused her to relent and push the door open wider, inviting him in.

Avery's eyes darted to Addison immediately as the unknown man entered the living area, "Avery, this is Kevin. Kevin, Avery," Addison introduced watching as her daughter fidgeted uncomfortably. "Kevin is my boyfriend," she added, feeling the need to explain.

He smiled but didn't move to approach her, "Do you like Chinese?" he asked, setting the bag down on the living room table.

"I'm not picky." Avery replied quietly.

Addison watched the interaction until Avery looked at her. The look in her eyes was something that Addison couldn't quite place. Without thinking she found herself sitting down beside the girl, closer than before, and Avery seemed to relax a little.

* * *

"I brought a movie," Kevin offered after they finished eating and he stood to begin clearing the plates. The dinner had been a little quiet, but overall had gone well. He hadn't expected Avery to be very receptive of him based on her past and judging from the girl's body language he hadn't been wrong.

Avery, however, had made an effort to make polite conversation with both Addison and Kevin, which had been a surprise to Addison to say the least. Addison wiped the counter absentmindedly, offering to make popcorn before the three of them settle into the living room in a sort of awkward silence, Kevin and Addison on the couch and Avery curled into the armchair. About twenty minutes into the movie Avery stood and made her way to the door, "I just need some air."

"Are you okay?" Addison asked immediately, moving to get up from her place in Kevin's arms. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Avery shook her head, "It's okay." When Addison looked unsure, Avery added, "I'm not going to run."

Addison still felt unsure but sat back nonetheless as she watched Avery exit onto the patio.

Kevin pressed a kiss to the side of her head, "You're doing good," he assured her gently to which Addison only sighed.

Outside, Avery kicked off her shoes and padded onto the sand, only to find that she was not alone in her pursuit of some much needed alone time.

On the shoreline, sat a young girl dipping her toes in the water.

Avery approached her warily and sat down a few feet away without so much as a word.

The girl turned, "Oh, hi," she smiled at her, a kind, and pure, virtually untainted smile.

Avery produced a half smile; it was as much as she could do, "Hi."

"I'm Maya."

"Avery."

"Did you come from my Aunt Addison's house?" Maya asked.

"Your Aunt Addison?" Avery repeated trying to hide her surprise. She hadn't really anticipated the company, especially company who knew Addison.

"Well," Maya smiled, "She's not my _real_ Aunt, but she's my Godmother and my Mom's best friend. My dad lives next door."

"Oh."

"So are you? Staying with Addison I mean?"

"Um, yeah, I guess I am." Avery admitted.

"Cool." Maya smiled, "It will be nice to have someone my age around here."

Avery didn't answer as she stared out onto the water. What was she doing? There were so many things about Addison she didn't know. So many things she was screwing up.

"Well I should head inside." Maya interrupted her thoughts.

Avery nodded as Maya got up, obviously feeling awkward with Avery's lack of response.

As Maya began to walk away, Avery called, after her, "Maya?" Maya turned back to her, "I have a lot of things on my mind."Avery admitted, "But it really was nice to meet you."

Maya smiled again, "You too. See ya."

Avery sighed, mentally scolding herself for being jealous of the young girl. Maybe she could learn a thing or two from her. She settled herself down into the sand, pulling her knees in and resting her chin on them as she looked up at the sky, wondering what the hell she was doing.

* * *

"Maybe we should go out there." Addison asked Kevin for what felt like the millionth time.

"Addison, she's fine. This is a big adjustment, she just needs some time, "Kevin continued to reassure her.

"How much time?" Addison asked as she moved to check the window for the fifth time, but Kevin caught her hand. "She's been out there for two hours." Addison yanked her hand away and Kevin sighed.

She paused in her step, "I'm sorry, I just…it's getting chilly out…and..." she peaked out the blinds, looking for the silhouette of her daughter by the shoreline, but it was wasn't there. "Kevin, she's gone!" Addison was out the door in a second, darting across the patio and onto the sand with Kevin on her heels.

Addison's eyes widened when she saw Avery lying in the sand as she picked up her pace and dropped down beside her, her hands immediately moving to Avery's neck to check her vitals.

Avery's eyes popped open the moment she was touched. Addison's auburn hair tickled her face and she pushed herself up onto her elbows allowing Addison to rock back onto her heels to give Avery room to breath.

Avery looked at Kevin who snorted as he smirked slightly, earning himself a glare from Addison.

"You're nuts." Avery concluded as she stood to her feet. Walking past Kevin, Avery picked up her shoes and headed back into the condo.

Kevin watched as Addison dropped to her knees into the sand as he moved to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze but letting her take her time, "Come on," he coaxed gently after a few minutes. Addison closed her eyes a moment before pushing herself to her feet to join him. Kevin wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "She'll come around."

Addison said nothing as she leaned into him and allowed him to guide her back to the condo.

"She's never had a mother, and while I'm sure she's glad you're in her life, she doesn't know you yet, so you're just going to have to give it time." Kevin explained

Addison nodded reluctantly, "Thank you," she told him genuinely, and then after a beat, " What do you think about stay over tonight?" she would protect Avery at all costs, but whatever she was into sounded serious and it couldn't hurt to have Kevin around.

Kevin squeezed her hand reassuringly, "Of course. As long as it's okay with the kid."

Addison smiled slightly and nodded, "Right."

When the two came into the condo, Avery was sitting on the couch, watching them carefully. Kevin locked the door behind him.

"Is it okay with you if Kevin stays over?" Addison asked.

Avery looked from Kevin, and his gun, to Addison, and back to Kevin before nodding. It was more than okay, it was good, this was good. Back up. Just in case.

"Do you want to sleep in the spare bedroom tonight?" Addison asked.

Avery shook her head, "I'm fine with the couch."

Addison opened her mouth to protest but Kevin placed a hand on the small of her back, "Let her be." He whispered into her ear as she shut her mouth and allowed him to guide her towards the stairs, "Goodnight Avery."

"Night." She replied.

"Let us know if you need anything." Addison told her but didn't receive a response.

The two climbed the stairs in silence, changed into nightclothes and crawled into bed. Addison leaned over and kissed Kevin, "Thank you, for being here."

Kevin nodded as she laid her head onto his chest to listen to the sound of his beating heart and she felt him kiss the top of her head as she drifted into a restless sleep.

* * *

Kevin had gotten up early in the morning to be at work, encountering Avery who apparently slept very light.

"Hey."

"Hey." Avery whispered back. "What are you doing?"

"Early shift." He replied, sitting down at the end of the couch by her feet. Avery as nodded and pulled her knees into her chest, "Look, I know it's not my place, but I'm going to say it anyways. I know this may not be how you thought your life would turn out, but trust me when I say that Addison is a good person, and whenever you're ready, she'll be there and she won't let you down again."

A lump formed in Avery's throat.

Kevin stood, not sure if he got through to her or not, but not really having much time before he had to be at the station. That would have to do for now, "Lock the door behind me will you?"

"Kevin?" Avery called as he paused, hand on the doorknob and looked towards her, "Thanks."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the delay, computers fixed now!**

 **Please let me know what you think if you have some time :)**

* * *

 **Throwing Copper**

"So I think a shopping trip is in order, hm?" Addison asked as she came down the stairs and noted that Avery had been living in the same clothes for the last couple days.

Avery's spoon dripping with cereal milk froze half way to her mouth as looked down at her ensemble and back up at Addison, "I can just wash them," she mumbled quietly.

"Don't be ridiculous." Addison waved a hand, "Eat up and lets go."

Avery sighed, letting her spoon drop back into the bowl before dragging herself to her feet.

* * *

Four hours and over a thousand dollars later Avery had a completely new wardrobe, and despite Addition attempting to make small talk, Avery had been quiet for the majority of the trip, mostly observing Addison and attempting to be compliant as the woman pulled clothes off the wrack like a maniac and forced her to try them on.

As they walked back towards the house, Addison casually opened her handed Avery a five dollar bill, "Why don't you walk down to the ice cream truck," she suggested.

Avery smirked, although she couldn't help but think the gesture was kind of sweet, "You know I'm not like seven right." She replied as she went to snatch the bill as Addison pulled it just out of reach.

"Does that mean you don't want ice cream?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"No." Avery replied as Addison allowed her to snatch the bill, "Do you want anything?" Avery called over her shoulder, pausing a moment to wait for an answer.

"No thanks." Addison replied as she watched Avery give a small wave and leave.

Addison pushed away the squirming feeling in her stomach, reminding herself what Kevin had said about giving Avery space as she jogged up to the spare room.

* * *

Avery was sitting by the edge of the water again; it was her safe place, where she felt free, like she could do anything. Her mind toyed with the idea of a swim, but before she had a chance to contemplate it any further Addison opened the back door and called to her.

Making her way inside, Avery reached into the pocket of her jeans and handed Addison the change from the ice cream, "Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet." Addison replied as Avery fixed her with a confused look, cocking her head to the side in a way that Addison found completely adorable, "I have something to show you." Addison couldn't help herself grinning like an idiot as she led the way up the stairs and opened the door across from her own bedroom.

Avery followed her into the room, her mouth dropped open a little as she looked around.

The walls were painted with a light blue-green colour that reminded Avery of the ocean and beside the bed was a small table with a lamp and several books. A large window looked out onto the beach had a ledge where she could sit and think, or read. On one side of the room was a desk with a journal and a drawing opposite wall had a flat screen TV mounted on the wall and underneath was a fireplace facing a bed that looked like it was made of feathers covered by a light brown comforter with a mass of pillows at the top.

On the bed sat a brand new MacBook and I-phone,

"I have to go back to work on Monday and I didn't want you to be bored. I didn't know what you liked so I just kind of got everything." Addison rambled nervously as she watched Avery's back. "Do you like it?" she asked after a moment of no response. "I put all your clothes into the closet." She continued uneasily when no response came.

When Avery finally turned around her eyes were narrowed in contempt, "I don't need your charity."

"What?" Addison asked her heart immediately sinking, "What's wrong?" her stomach dropped and she wrung her hands together fearing she had moved too quickly, "I'm sorry I was just trying to-"

"It's too much." Avery cut her off, "It's…" she looked back at the room, and then to Addison, her voice softening slightly as she took Addison in, "You didn't have to do this. You _shouldn't_ have done this."

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. This is not charity; you are not my charity case. I want you here." Addison's voice was firm as she attempted to reassured Avery, "and I wanted you to have a space of your own, this your home too now."

* * *

Avery and Addison were sitting on the bed as Avery examined the phone without saying anything.

"There's one more thing." Addison added as she pulled out a purse.

"Addison it's really not necessary-" Avery began but Addison cut her off.

"I thought you'd like this one." She grazed her hand on the brown leather, over the shoulder bag, ignoring Avery's protests, "Now listen," she opened the purse, and produced several cards, "Debit card, you can go to the bank and make your own pin, I'll put 500 dollars on it every month.

"Credit card – for emergencies only." She watched Avery carefully making sure she understood and only continued once she got a subtle nod. "And some basics, library card, health card, gym membership" She listened off, "Try not to lose it."

"I, um, I don't know what to say." Avery fidgeted awkwardly, no one had ever given her anything, and this was all very overwhelming.

"You don't have to say anything." Addison told her with a smile. "I do want you to promise me something."

Avery looked at Addison, her face was serious, "I know we haven't know each other very long" Addison began, "But I care about you, and I need to know that while I'm at work you won't find yourself in any trouble."

"Okay…"

"So promise me, Avery, promise me that you're not going to run away or go back to whoever hurt you. I swear we will make things right with those people, but for now I want to focus on you."

Avery was silent for a moment, "Would it make you feel better if I met you for lunch?"

Addison raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Yes actually it would."

"Okay," Avery forced a smile.

Addison let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, "Thank you."

"What do you mean we're going to make things right with them?" Avery asked, playing the conversation over in her head, trying to identify the limits and loop holes surrounding Addison's request.

"The people who hurt you," Addison replied, "We can't let them hurt anyone else."

"Oh."

The silence dragged on as Addison watched Avery fiddle with her phone. "Have you thought anymore about therapy." Addison asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I'll go if you want me to." Avery replied almost without looking up, suddenly feeling she owed this to her.

Addison looked at her curiously, wondering what had happened to the girl from the last few days, "I named you, you know," she hadn't meant to say it.

Avery's head snapped up, "What?"

"Before I gave you up, I named you. That's why we both have 'A' names."

"Oh."

"I liked Avery because it could have been for a boy or a girl." Addison continued a little unsure of how the girl would react.

"Do you want to have another baby?" Avery asked.

Addison noted how perceptive Avery was, a knot curled into her stomach, because a part of her felt guilty, guilty about wanting a baby, about aborting her baby, about giving her baby up.

But Avery wasn't asking in a malicious way as she traced her finger along the sheet before finally looking up at Addison who nodded.

"I do, but it's probably not going to happen." Addison admitted. If she wanted Avery to be honest with her, she would also have to open up and be honest. Afterall, trust was a two way street.

Avery nodded.

"I only have two eggs left." Addison admitted.

"Sucks." Avery replied, slightly uncomfortable with the topic.

"I was pregnant before." Now that the conversation was happening, she felt she had to clear the air, "a while ago," she added.

Avery looked up sheepishly, "I know."

"After you" she clarified, taking a deep breath, "A few years ago."

"Oh." Avery mouthed, "So I have another brother or sister running around out there?" Avery couldn't stop her frown, it wasn't because she was jealous, it was because she worried the kid had succumbed to a fate similar to hers.

"I had an abortion," Addison admitted after a moment, not sure how Avery would take the news, but for some reason, relief flooded through her chest as she said the words.

Surprisingly, it was Avery who broke the silence first, "I would have done the same thing, I mean, I did do it, just over a year ago, it was under the table, but I couldn't have a kid, I couldn't bring it up in that environment."

Addison opened and closed her mouth a couple times, not knowing what to say. Perhaps she hadn't fully prepared herself for the level of openness that they were sharing. The life that Avery had experienced was filled with pain and disappointments and before she knew what she was doing reached out and pulled the teenager into a hug.

Avery remained rigid for a moment before Addison felt her relax into the embrace, "I'm sorry you can't have kids," Avery whispered.

"I have one," Addison breathed as she buried her face deeper into Avery's hair, tightening her hold in an attempt to will away both of their pain.


	8. Chapter 8

**All Over You**

Avery had showered, shampooed, lit a joint and taken a long walk along the beach all the way into the heart of the city.

Crossing the street to the Practice, Avery was surprised how content she felt, for the first time since she could remember she felt no urge to run and she allowed a smile to escape.

Inside Avery walked confidently up to the desk, "Hi, I'm looking for Addison."

"Are you a patient?" the guy at the desk looked up and Avery blushed a little, thinking that he was cute, she opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it, "Hang on, I recognize you." He shook his finger at her slightly lost in thought, "From the waiting room a few weeks back. You look… different…"

Avery shrugged but couldn't help the small smile that escaped her lips.

"I think it's the smile," he told her with a wink.

And the lack of bruises, Avery noted, silently thankful that the bruises had faded.

"I'm Dell." He extended his hand to her across the counter.

"Avery." She replied, hesitating for only a moment before accepting it.

"A pleasure to meat you." He smiled, "Come on, I'll show you to Addison's office."

Avery nodded as she followed Dell down the hall.

Addison was talking with another woman in her office when they approached, as the two looked up. Addison pushed her glasses onto the top of her head.

"Avery." Addison greeted, "I must have lost track of time. Oh, I'd like you to meet my friend Naomi, and I guess you've already met Dell."

Avery nodded, "I just wanted to stop in, to you know…"

Addison smiled, relief flooding through her chest, "I'm glad you stopped by but I'm behind on my paper work from last week and…"

"It's okay." Avery waved her off.

Addison nodded, "Do you want to wait a bit while I wrap some things up?"

"No." Avery replied, and Addison noted once again how fiercely independent she was. "Don't worry about me."

Addison opened her mouth to insist that she was worried, but Dell intercepted, "I can take her for lunch."

Addison looked from Avery to Dell and back to Avery, "It's up to you."

A surge of unexpected panic swept through Avery, Addison stood up but Avery took a step back, holding up her hand to keep Addison at bay.

Addison watched as Avery fought the impulse to run before nodding, "That would be nice." She accepted.

Everyone was staring at her, "Are you sure because-" Dell began, sensing the unease.

"I'm sure."

Dell nodded slowly, "Okay, I'll just get my stuff." Avery nodded as she watched him go before turning back to Addison.

"Are you okay?" Addison blurted out as soon as Dell was gone.

Avery nodded, eyeing that Naomi was watching her, "Yeah, it was nothing." she insisted.

"You don't have to do this." Addison came around the desk and put a hand on Avery's shoulder.

Avery flinched away, "I know." She told her coolly, "I'll see you later?" Addison nodded reluctantly as she watched the girl leave before letting out a sigh.

"I thought we were making real progress the other day but…"

Naomi grabbed Addison's hand and gave it a squeeze, "It's just going to take some time."

"That's what everyone keeps saying." Addison grumbled, sinking back into her seat.

"For what it's worth, she's beautiful Addison." Naomi told her friend.

Addison smiled a little sadly, "I know."

* * *

Avery hoped that Dell wasn't bringing her to some high-end restaurant and she smiled when they stopped in front of the beach hut. "How do you feel about burgers?" he asked.

Avery grinned, "Great." A small laugh escaped her.

"What?" Dell smiled at her.

Avery shrugged, "Nothing, it's just a nice change is all." Dell paid for their lunch and the two found a seat on the beach to eat their lunch.

"So, how do you know Addison?" Dell asked.

Avery shoved some fries into her mouth as she contemplated whether or not to tell the truth, she swallowed, "She's my Mum."

Dell's eyebrows raised, "Really? She never said…"

"Yeah, well, we were only recently reacquainted." Avery admitted.

Dell nodded, seeming to understand.

"So what do you do for fun around here?" Avery asked as though she were new to the area, she didn't care to explain that her 'fun' had previously consisted of drugs, sex, music, and alcohol, not necessarily in that order.

"I like to surf." Dell replied. "Ever tried it?"

Avery shook her head in the negative.

"Well you should." He told her as he got to his feet and offered her his hand.

"You mean, like, now?" Avery raised her eyebrows and smirked as she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.

He shrugged, "Why not?"

The smile immediately left her face as she realized he was serious, "I don't have a board." Avery stammered becoming a bit nervous.

"We can rent you a board, you have your bathing suit on right?" he noted the string tied around her neck.

"Well, yeah, but…." Avery's hand rested on the back of her neck.

"I'll be right back." He replied as he jogged over to the board shack.

Avery's mind raced as she tried to figure out a classy exit, as Dell returned. "Do we really have time for this?" she asked, unable to come up with anything, as she tugged at her long sleeves. "Don't you have to get back to work?

Dell looked at her and leaned in, "Look, if you're worried about the marks…" but immediately regretted his words as Avery stepped back from him appalled.

"How did you…" immediately her mind went to Addison. How could she? How _dare_ she!

He held up his hands in defense, "No one told me, I just, I saw your bruises the other day and you're wearing long sleeves and it's like 95 degrees." He sighed, "It's not hard to spot if you know what you're looking for is all."

She looked at him skeptically, "And you do?"

"My life isn't all babies and midwifery." He told her with a small smile. "I've got a past, but I try not to let it get to me."

"Yeah, well, my past is far too close for comfort." Avery wrinkled her nose.

"All I'm saying is no one's going to notice once you're in the water." Dell replied.

"Except you." Even if he knew, and even _if_ he had figured it out himself, that didn't mean she wanted him to _see_ it.

"We'll get you a surf shirt for next time." He attempted a compromise.

Avery looked down at her shirt, fully contemplating wearing it in, before his words sunk in, "Next time?"

"Surfing is very freeing. It helped me when I was going through some rough times." He told her as though that were an explanation. "Come on" he pulled off his shirt and offered her his hand.

* * *

Addison attempted to focus on her paperwork but her mind kept straying back to Avery.

She tapped her pen on the edge of the desk, making a decision to force the girl to get checked out after her admission about her under the table abortion. At the time she had let herself just be a mom hugging her daughter, but she was a mom _and_ a doctor, which meant she knew how dangerous the procedure could be. It could cause, infection, infertility, she could have died. Addison swallowed the lump in her throat reminding herself that Avery was here, she was alive, and she wasn't likely to drop dead from a procedure that happened over a year ago, but still, she should be properly checked out.

As if on cue, Avery appeared, "You're wet." Addison noted as she watched her daughter linger in the doorway.

"Nice observation." Avery snapped, the water had been cool and refreshing but she had left her patience on the beach.

"And mad." Addison put her pen down.

"Who did you tell?" Avery demanded taking a step further into the room.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked confused.

"Dell knew about the bruises!" Avery all but shouted, earning several stares from patients in the waiting room.

Addison stood up, holding her hands defensively in front of her, "I didn't tell Dell." She said standing as she moved to close the door, indicating for Avery to take a seat.

"I know." Avery barked dropping into the seat still soaking wet, "I want to know who you did tell."

"Naomi, Sam, and Kevin." Addison told her, "That's it, I swear."

Avery ran a shaky hand through her wet hair, "You shouldn't have –" she took a deep breath, "It wasn't your secret to tell."

"I'm sorry but I had to tell someone!" Addison defended herself.

"Why!" Avery shouted, "Why did you _have_ to?"

"I needed someone to talk to, okay?" Addison sunk back into her chair.

"No it's not okay!" Avery countered as she shook her head, "Unbelievable."

Addison looked up, "Well it's not exactly like you give me a lot of options."

Avery threw a nasty look in Addison's general direction.

"I can't talk to you. I can't talk about you. What the hell am I supposed to do Avery?" Addison demanded, "You're not exactly making it very easy!"

"You don't get easy." Avery growled her voice dangerously low.

"Avery, I'm trying-" Addison countered.

Avery gapped a moment before the statement sunk in, "SO AM I!" she yelled. "But you don't see it because you've lived in this sheltered bubble your whole life!"

"You don't know anything about my life." Addison's voice remained level but there was no mistaking the dangerous glint in her eye.

"Well who's fault is that?" Avery shot back.

Addison took a deep, steadying breath, attempting to keep her cool but ending up somewhere near irritated, "Avery I'm at work."

Avery rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"Is everything okay in here?" a woman peaked in.

"Violet!" Addison all but jumped out of her chair and Avery gave her a strange look. "This is Avery, my daughter," Violet gapped. "Do you have any appointments this afternoon?"

"I don't think so." Avery intercepted, catching on to where Addison was going with this.

"Not for a couple hours." Violet replied, seemingly having regained some of her composure. "Would you like to come into my office Avery?" she asked, focusing on the teen who ground her teeth and glared at Addison.

"Think of it as an opportunity to get things off your chest." Addison encouraged a little too chipper for Avery's liking.

"Fine." Avery replied after a moment before looking at Violet, "Lead the way."

"So what were you and your Mom-"

"Addison."

"Addison fighting about?"

"Her apparent inability to keep her mouth shut." Avery replied, crossing her arms over her chest, she wasn't going to give this woman anything, she didn't need therapy. What she needed was a joint, and maybe someone to jump.

"About what?"

"Me."

"What about you?"

"She's telling people about me."

"Isn't that what mothers do?"

"She's telling things that aren't hers to tell and she has no idea what she's talking about."

"Are you sure?"

Avery grimaced, "Yes."

"Maybe it would help if you told me what this thing was?"

"No."

"Okay, how about your feelings about Addison?"

"Right now I'm feeling pretty annoyed."

"Anything else?"

Avery pretended to think, "Nope, I think annoyed pretty much covers it." She deadpanned.

"And how do you think she feels about you?"

Avery wrinkled her nose, "I don't know."

"If you had to guess." Violet encouraged.

"Probably like I'm ruining her perfect life."

"Is that really what you think she thinks or is that what you want to think she thinks?"

Avery sighed, "I don't know….she's…so different from me."

"How would you feel if you were in her place?"

Avery shrugged, "Bad I guess."

"Why?"

"Because I yelled at her for talking to her friends and Kevin….it's just…ugh…"

"What?"

"Kevin."

"What about him?"

"He's a cop."

"Yes he is. Did you do something you shouldn't have? Is that the secret?"

"I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have." Avery replied without any trace of remorse.

Violet observed the girl, her guard was up and she was good at being elusive. "Why don't we talk about your father?"

"Great." Avery replied sarcastically as she flashed a fake smile.

"Do you have a good relationship with him?"

"Don't know him."

Violet was a little thrown off by the response, since she had never heard Addison mention her daughter before she assumed Avery had lived with her ex-husband in Seattle.

"Where did you live before coming to Addison?" Violet recovered.

"The streets" Avery eyed Violet, daring her to say something else, "Can I go now?"

"I think we should talk about-"

"I'm good," Avery replied, "Why don't you ask Addison, I'm sure she'll tell you _all_ about it."

"I'd like to talk to you if that's okay?"

"Actually I have to go," Avery replied, as she fiddled around with her phone.

"Okay." Violet nodded understandingly, "So I'll see you around?"

Avery got up and left the room, muttering, "Don't count on it," just loud enough for Violet to hear.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the delay, please let me know your thoughts. Reviews while not necessary certainly help with inspiring faster updates :)

* * *

 **Castle on the hill**

Avery shifted her vegetables around her plate as Addison glanced up, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Addison took a deep breath, "Well there is something I would like to talk to you about."

Avery inwardly groaned, but placed her fork down, indicating for Addison to continue.

"It's about the other day." Addison began, this time Avery's groan escaped her but Addison continued, not allowing the teenager time to protest. "I'd like you to get checked out, because of the abortion."

"I'm fine."

"You may feel fine but there could be any number of things wrong. I'd like to do a quick examination-"

Avery looked up horrified, "Ew! No!"

"Avery" Addison took a deep breath, training her patience, "You said it yourself, I'm a world class OBGYN-"

"I don't care!" Avery replied, "You're my…mother! Someone else can do it. _Anyone_ else."

Addison wrinkled her nose in disgusted, "Avery, I-"

"Look, I know you have this whole, God complex thing going on, but it's creepy, okay?"

Addison eyed her a moment before giving in, "Fine, but I'm going with you."

"Whatever." Avery jabbed her carrot with a little too much vigour in her annoyance, "You know, I don't need your pity." Addison stared at Avery trying to figure out her angle but said nothing. "If you want to be mad at me, be mad at me. I'm not going to break." Avery snapped.

Addison remained quiet.

"I did something wrong. I get it. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you." She jabbed another unsuspecting carrot.

"It's not you fault." Addison said finally and Avery wasn't sure if she was talking about her earlier outburst or the abuse. Avery gazed out the window, "Hey." Addison reached across the table and squeezed Avery's hand, pulling her back, "You're just a kid and the people who were supposed to take care of you hurt you."

Avery snorted and retracted her hand, Addison's face showed her hurt, "Sorry." Avery sighed, "It's just…"she shook her head, "You know what, never mind."

"No, what?" Addison prodded, but when Avery seemed to be lost in space she added, "Avery we have to be open with each other, that's the only way we're going to move forward. I want to know you."

"No you don't." Avery grumbled retracting her hand, "I'm a bad person."

"Is that what they told you?" Addison frowned.

Avery took a deep breath, "I may not have picked my foster parents but I did choose Robbie." She shook her head, "I got caught up in that world...and I couldn't take it... I couldn't take knowing I did that to myself...I just wanted it all to stop, you know."

Addison searched her daughters blue eyes for something to tell her she wasn't hearing this, "What did you do Avery?"

"The only thing I could, and I couldn't even do that right," she snorted at the irony of it all, "You have _no_ idea what it feels like to loose everything over and over and over again."

"Avery…" Addison choked out, but Avery couldn't look at her, "What does that mean?"

"It means I tied a rope around my neck and tried to hang myself." the words came out sarcastically but Addison knew Avery wasn't joking and the younger girl sighed, before saying quietly, " Look, it's not your fault...but I'm broken."

" _You are not broken_."

"I stopped caring what they did to me. Convinced myself that it was just my life, became numb. I don't even know who I am anymore. I wonder if I ever did…" she sighed and finally looked at Addison. "What else would you call that?"

Addison frowned, "I know it's been hard, but you are a kind, smart, funny, beautiful girl and _you're safe now_ , I promise."

"I'm none of those things." Avery snapped, "Would a kind person treat you like shit just for caring? Would a smart person stay with Robbie? I'm not funny or beautiful and I'm definitely not safe! I'm _bitter, I have broken bones that haven't healed right,_ I drink. I do drugs, a lot. I crash cars o _n purpose,_ I sleep with people for money!"

"None of those things were your fault." Addison searched out Avery's eyes frantically, "You are my daughter, and you're not alone anymore, and I need you to believe that, right now."

Avery closed her eyes to escape Addison's anguish, "I wish I could." Avery pulled her hands away.

A knock at the door singled Kevin's arrival as he let himself into the house.

"May I be excused?" Avery mumbled and without waiting for a response pushed her chair back from the table, grabbed her dishes, placed them in the sink and disappeared up the stairs, Addison's eyes never leaving her back as she watched her daughter leave.

"Everything okay?" Kevin asked as he watched Addison looking lost before running her hands over her face.

Addison just shook her head, unable to find the words to describe what she had just learned. Kevin pulled up a chair, reached out and squeezed her hand, "It's going to be okay."

* * *

Addison climbed the stairs to Avery's bedroom, Kevin trailing behind, she had waited half an hour but couldn't held herself from needing to check on her daughter, even if just for a moment.

She lingered in front of the door a moment, "Avery?" she called softly, with a gentle knock, "Can I come in?"

No answer.

Addison looked at Kevin, who nodded at her encouragingly, "Avery honey, I know you're upset…"

No answer.

"I just want to make sure you're okay."

Still no answer.

"I'm coming in." Addison called through the door as she turned the handle and pushed the door open only to find the wind bellowing in through the open window.

Addison's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened as she turned to Kevin in panic.

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me." Avery looked up at Dell, "I just- I needed a break."

He nodded, "But you told Addison where you were going right?"

"Of course." Avery lied.

"So what happened?"

"I- I said something I shouldn't have." Avery admitted, "I don't want to talk about it. You said you were going out, can we still go?"

"A buddy of mine was having some people over, but I don't know if it's such a good idea…"

"Please." Avery grabbed Dells arm, "I'll be good. You won't even know I'm there." She begged.

"Addison-"

"Doesn't have to know." Avery finished the sentence and offered a coy smile.

Dell sighed, "Avery…"

"Please." She tried again before crossing her arms, "I'm not a little kid Dell, I'm almost 18."

"Funny." He smirked, "That still makes you underage."

"Are you telling me you didn't drink when you were my age?" she questioned and when he didn't answer she knew she had him, "Besides, it wouldn't be anything I haven't done before."

"Avery." He warned again, "Addison would _kill_ me."

"Fine. I won't drink." Avery crossed her fingers behind her back.

"Or do drugs." He confirmed.

"What kind of parties do you go to?" she openly mocked him.

"I don't do this very often." He admitted, "Not anymore anyways."

"Oh, so you're boring." She cocked an eyebrow. "Come on Dell, if I don't do it with you I'm going to do it without you, _unsupervised_."

Dell groaned, knowing he was so going to regret this tomorrow.

* * *

Avery was leaning with her back against the wall, holding a beer in one hand and a very strong mixed vodka drink in the other. She giggled and openly flirted with the guy leaning over her, after scanning the crowd she had spotted him right away as someone who had drug connections that would help her forget her earlier slip up of letting Addison in a little too far. With another large gulp of her drink, she forced down her guilt of lying to Dell and watched as the guy reached into his pocket, but before he could produce the pills she craved, Dell appeared, grabbing the guy by the collar and shoving him back, "Get away from her!"

Avery's eyes widened, "Dell!"

Dell delivered a wicked right hook to the guys jaw, causing the drug dealer to double over in pain as he massaged his throbbing face.

Dell turned and grabbed Avery by the arm with one hand, the other hand took first her beer and then her drink, setting them down on the table as he dragged her from the house party.

"Dell!" Avery grunted as she tried to pull her arm free but he had a firm hold on her.

He didn't stop until they arrived at the car a block and a half away. "Get in the car."

"No." Avery held her ground. She had been pushed around enough to know that Dell wasn't actually going to hurt her but too much to allow her to let it happen again when she could stop it.

"This isn't a game Avery!" he yelled, "What the hell were you thinking talking to a guy like that."

Avery rolled her eyes, "That guy's a kitten compared to the people I've dealt with."

"I don't care, okay? Things are different now! You're not that screwed up kid anymore!"

"I wish it were that easy." She snorted, "I can't just snap my fingers and change overnight."

"No but you can start to try." He accused. "You said you weren't going to drink."

"I just wanted something in my hand. I'm not even buzzed yet." She defended, and it was true, what little buzz she, had immediately worn off when Dell punched out her hopes and dreams. "It's not like I'm an addict or something,"

Dell closed his eyes and his cell phone vibrated, "If that's Addison I swear to God…" he muttered as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

Avery rolled her eyes but secretly hoped Addison had left her in her room to her own devices.

Dells brow furrowed into a deep concern and his voice that had been angry only a moment before was now, sweet, soft, and very worried, "Hi Betsy." He paused, "It's okay, Daddy's coming, I'll be right there."

Avery's brow furrowed in confusion but she was already moving to the passenger side of the car as Dell ran around to the drivers side. She didn't ask who Betsy was, she had a feeling she would find out soon enough anyways.

* * *

"Stay in the car." Dell instructed as he jumped from the car, but Avery had never been very good at following instructions, one of the reasons she so often found herself in trouble with her foster parents.

She followed Dell from the car and towards the house. Dell pushed open the unlocked door and Avery followed close behind him. When he noticed she had followed him he sighed, shaking his head before grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him.

The smoke in the house was thick and Avery recognized the smell as crystal meth.

Dell navigated his way through the crowd of people, keeping a tight grip on Averys hand, before pushing open another door.

"Daddy!" a little girl cried out as she ran to him.

It was only then that Dell released Avery's hand and scooped up his daughter, consoling her for a moment before he turned to Avery.

"Take her to the car." He handed a reluctant Betsy off to Avery as he pet his daughters hair. "Daddy will be right there okay?" Betsy nodded.

Avery shifted the little girl onto her hip and cradled her head to her shoulder to avoid the smoke.

She carefully made her way to the door and had almost reached it when she was confronted by a blond woman.

"What do you think you're doing with my daughter." The woman growled and Avery took a step back. She wasn't opposed to a fight, especially after the day she had but the squirming child in her arms was definitely going to make things more difficult.

Thankfully, Dell intercepted, "Heather." He barked, stepping between then, he glanced over his shoulder at Avery, "Go."


	10. Chapter 10

**I see fire**

The little girl was crying muffled sobs into Avery's shoulder, something about not wanting to leave her mother, but being scared so she called her dad.

Her dad.

Dell was a Dad, she placed the child gently into the back seat and slipped in beside her, she never would have thought. "It's okay." Avery whispered, brushing the hair gently from the little girls face, knowing how scared she must be. Avery swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking about how she didn't want to end up like Heather. That if and when she ever had kids, she wouldn't let them down as she had been.

Avery's head snapped around and she saw the girls mother run from the house and immediately pulled Dells jacked from the front seat and wrapped it around the child, "Stay here, okay. Your Dad will be here in a minute." She promised as she got out of the car locking it behind her.

"You!" Heather hissed as she flung herself in Avery's direction but Dell caught a hold of her by the waist. "You're trying to take my daughter away from me, you _bitch_."

"I just don't think a kid should be raised in a crack house. It fucks them up." Avery countered seeming mildly amused.

"Avery, get in the car." Dell instructed as he attempted to restrain Heather.

"Betsy!" Heather screamed, "Betsy!"

But Avery was standing in front of the window blocking the child's sight. That didn't mean that the tiny, "Mommy, I'm sorry. Mommy! I'm _so_ sorry!" didn't break her heart into a million pieces.

Once again, Heather locked onto Avery. "Let. Me. Go." She struggled against Dell.

"Yes Dell, let her go." Avery smirked and Dell gave her a hard look to tell her to stop the taunting.

After the day she had had, Avery was itching for a fight.

"I'm taking her until you get clean." Dell told Heather.

"No! No! You can't take her away from me! You can't!" she screamed.

"I can, or DCFS can" Dell told her coldly.

"No!" the woman wailed as she dropped down to her knees crying hysterically. "NO!" she roared, "She's all I have! _She's all I have!_ "

Dell tried to pull her to her feet but she recoiled from his touch, "Don't touch me." She hyperventilated.

Avery frowned, suddenly feeling sorry for the woman, as she approached the crumpled figure on the ground and knelt down beside her, "No one wants to take your daughter away but you have to get clean, for her."

Heather's eyes flashed angrily and she lunged at Avery, her fist colliding with her eye as she knocked her to the ground.

Avery fought the urge to fight back, she knew she could kick the woman's ass, especially in the state Heather was in.

Instead she caught another fist aimed at her rib cage and wrapped her arms around her, "It's going to be okay." She held her there as Heather collapsed into a hysterically fit of sobs, and Avery looked up at Dell before turning back to Heather and whispering into her hair. "You're going to be okay."

* * *

Dell had gotten Betsy to bed when he looked at Avery, "How is it?" he gently took the ice pack off her face to inspect her bruised and swollen eye.

"I've had worse." Avery smiled at him but he only frowned and pressed the ice pack back onto her eye, causing her to wince slightly. "How's Betsy?"

"She's scared." Dell admitted, "She doesn't understand what's going on with her Mom." Dell flopped back onto the couch, and sighed, "What am I going to do?"

Avery gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm, "You are going to take care of that little girl because she needs you."

Dell nodded, "I know. _I know_. I just…" he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, "How can she do this to her own daughter? To me?"

"Maybe she can't help it." Avery offered quietly.

Dell seemed to take this in with a sigh, "I'll have to find a babysitter and buy her clothes and figure out her school schedule. She had dance on Friday afternoons."

"I can take care of her during the day."

Dell gave her a disbelieving look.

"What?" Avery questioned, "I've got nothing but time." Still he looked skeptical.

"Avery, don't take this the wrong way, because I like you, and I appreciate what you did for me tonight. But you go looking for trouble because it's all you've ever known." Dell told her.

Avery contemplated his statement, "I'll do better." She promised, "For Betsy." And she meant it, she didn't want to end up like Heather, not when there were people out there who might actually care.

* * *

Avery knew she was in trouble as she walked around the side of the house, hoping she could slip in the back and that Addison would be none the wiser.

Unfortunately, she had no such luck.

"A polite house guest would have called to say they weren't coming home." Addison replied without looking up from her paperwork as she sat at the patio table.

"Good thing I'm not polite. I thought I was doing you a favour staying out, not interfering with you and your boy in blue." Avery countered.

Addison finally looked up over her glasses, "Where the hell have you been!" she demanded, her heart skipping a beat when she caught sight of Avery's black eye, and before she knew what she was doing she closed the distance between the two of them.

Avery took a step back, "It's not what you think."

"Let me see." Addison moved towards the girl and grazed her thumb over the bruise.

"Yep, it's a black eye." Avery confirmed sarcastically when she was caught off guard being wrapped in a tight hug.

"I thought I'd lost you." Addison mumbled into her hair.

"I'm not that easy to get rid of." Avery replied as Addison released her, knowing not to push her too far.

Addison sighed as she indicated for the girl to go inside and sit down as she retrieved a bag of frozen peas from the freezer.

"It's nothing _really_." Avery turned her head away from the ice pack.

Addison grabbed her chin and yanked it back around so she could press the peas to the bruise, "It's not nothing." She told her a little more forcefully than intended, "Not to me."

Avery took over holding the peas.

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Addison asked.

"Do I have a choice?" Avery grumbled.

Addison raised her eyebrows.

"I went out with Dell." Avery admitted, "We were hanging out and Betsy called him for help. So we went there and Dell told me to stay in the car, but I couldn't just sit there so I followed him in, and well, we got Betsy out, but Heather took a swing at me."

Addison still looked concerned but allowed herself to breath, "Are you sure, I mean, he didn't hurt you again did he?" she tucked a strand of Avery's hair behind her ear.

"I said he didn't, didn't I?" Avery asked as little perturbed as she pulled away from her grasps. "I'm fine." She insisted as she got up and walked away, leaving Addison wondering if she got her passive aggressive streak from her.

* * *

"So you're sure nothing happened?" Kevin interrogated her as they walked home from dinner later that night.

Avery rolled her eyes, "I'm not telling you guys again." She grunted her voice laced with irritation.

Kevin eyed her up, trying to decipher if she was lying or not. "I do this for a living you know." he reminded her.

" _You_ talked to Dell." Avery eyed Addison, "Tell him."

"She's not lying." Addison replied although her eyes told a different story.

"Can we talk about something else?" Avery asked.

"Sure." Kevin agreed after a moment.

"Power, speed, control, who knew how much fun go carting could be." Avery gushed over enthusiastically eager for a subject change.

"Yeah it's better than…" Addison let out a giggle as she moved to kiss Kevin, "Never mind."

"Uh, guys…" Avery's voice changed, Addison and Kevin looked up, "The doors open."

Addison immediately became concerned. "Kevin…" she looked at him.

Kevin released Addison after giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze and stepped past Avery who Addison pulled back behind her.

Kevin bent down to pull his gun from his boot and held a hand up to them, "Stay put." He whispered.

"Stay here." Addison told Avery as she moved to follow Kevin.

Avery snorted, "When hell freezes over."

Kevin crept quietly into the house, gun drawn, with Addison and Avery on his heels.

"LAPD! Get on the ground!" Kevin yelled.

"Whoa." A guy on the floor raised his hands as a half naked woman leapt off of him.

Addison gasped, "Archer?" before looking away and realizing that Avery had followed them. She immediately covering her daughters eyes. "You don't listen." She grunted.

"Neither do you." Avery replied batting her hand away, "Oh woe, my innocence has been stolen."

"You're dating a cop?" Archer raised an eyebrow.

Kevin dropped his gun slightly, "You know him?"

Addison looked at Kevin, still refusing to look at her brother, "Archer, Kevin and Avery, Kevin, Avery, this is Archer, my brother." Kevin and Avery exchanged a look as Addison raised her hand to Archer, her voice slightly high pitched, "Will you put some clothes on please?"

Archer smirked before nodding, "I went for a swim, I think she's a neighbour so I invited her in to be neighbourly," he explained as he pulled on his pants.

"This is L.A." Addison told him, "No body here is neighbourly."

"She's right." Avery nodded, still mildly amused by the situation as she perched herself on the arm of the couch.

"Well in that case you might want to invest in a new alarm system." Archer replied as he watched the woman gather her clothes clutching a sheet to her chest as she made to leave she glanced at Addison.

"Keep it," Addison told the woman who mouthed a 'thank you' and darted out the patio doors towards the beach.

"Wouldn't be a bad idea." Kevin agreed as he watched the other woman exit through the open doors.

"Then again, you do have your own private cop to keep you safe." Archer teased.

"Oh God." Avery groaned.

Addison ignored her, "It's good to see you, although, perhaps next time you could call?"

"And who's this?" Archer nodded in Avery's direction.

"Yes well" Addison placed a hand on Avery's knee, "You remember Avery."

"I remember a baby a long time ago that you gave up for adoption…"

"That would be me."

"Some black eye you got there kid." Archer noted and Avery nodded.

"So" Kevin eyed Archer, "You in town for long?"

"No, publisher suckered me into attending a dinner launch party. They parade new authors and their books to foreign buyers and agents." He shrugged, "They needed some star power, so, I figured, give me an opportunity to come see you and get drunk."

Addison laughed a little, "Yeah, see Archer used to be a world class neurologist but now he makes a living telling tall tales about his most disturbing patients, but really, he's here to spy on me for Bizzy."

"Bizzy?" Kevin asked as Addison grabbed a bottle of wine and poured it into three glasses, swatting away Avery's hand as she went.

"God forbid she let her children define her identity by letting them call her mother." He raised his glass to Addison before continuing, "She's not happy with you, you left Derek, you left Seattle, and wait till she hears about the return of the illegitimate love child you gave up for adoption." He glanced as Avery and laughed as Addison made to kick him, "No offence."

Avery flashed a fake smile for a second, "None taken," she replied sarcastically.

"She's going to have a field day with this one."


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys, sorry for the delay, work got crazy, but you know how you can help with quicker updates, right? :P

* * *

 **It's a beautiful day to save lives**

"So what do you think about Archer staying with you guys?" Kevin asked as he glanced over at Avery in the car, coffee in hand.

Avery shrugged, "No comment."

"No comment?" Kevin raised his eyebrows.

" _You_ don't like him." Avery noted shooting him a sideways glance.

"I…I like him."

Avery snorted, "Riiiight."

"He's just…"

"Kind of an ass?" Avery supplied.

Kevin cocked his head to look at her, "So you agree."

"I call em as I see em," Avery replied as Kevin pulled up in front of Dell's house. "He talked to you about the trust fund didn't he? Me too."

Kevin looked at her incredulously, "You're kidding! You're her kid!" he shook his head, "Unbelievable."

"It's okay."

"It's not." Kevin told her, he paused a moment, "I didn't know, I mean, I knew she was well off, but not a multi millionaire." He looked at Avery.

"I didn't know either." Avery answered quickly, looking out the window towards Dells house.

He blinked at her a moment before changing the subject, "So what did Addison have this morning?"

Avery downed the contents of her coffee cup, "Early meeting or something."

"On a Saturday?"

Avery shrugged hopping out of the car, "Yeah I guess."

Kevin nodded, "Right, see ya later Av."

"Thanks for the ride." She called with a wave of her hand towards the open window of the car as she strode towards the house.

* * *

Avery was sitting on her surfboard with Betsy between her legs, the two of them watched Dell catch a wave. "Your Daddy is so cool." Avery told the little girl as she fixed one of her long pigtails.

Betsy grinned up at her, "I know."

Avery paddled a little closer to shore as Betsy stood on the board; Avery's arms lingered on either side of the child, just in case.

"Daddy look!" she cried.

Dell looked over and smiled, "That's my girl!" he wadded into the water and scooped Betsy off the board as Avery jumped off, grabbed the board under her arm and made her way onto the sand. She watched as Dell put Betsy down and the child scooted towards her towel.

Avery came up beside Dell as they walked back to their spot on the beach, "You're good with her." He commented, eyes still fixed on his young daughter.

Avery looked up at him, "Does that mean I pass the test?" she smirked, the past few weekends had been spent hanging out with Dell and Betsy in an attempt to prove she was babysitting material.

Dell looked at Betsy, "What do you think of Avery being your new babysitter?" he asked his daughter.

"Really?" Betsy's eyes widened with excitement as a small smile spread over her face and she ran to Avery and hugged her legs.

Avery patted the little girls back, "I'm excited too." She told her before looking up at Dell and mouthing, 'Thank-you.' Whether he knew it or not, she needed this.

She grabbed her bag from the sand and shifted through it, pulling out her phone as her brow ruffled into an uncharacteristic concern.

"What's wrong?" Dell asked immediately.

"Four missed calls and a 911 text telling me to meet Addison at St. Ambrose asap." Avery looked up at him.

"I'll drive."he told her.

* * *

Avery, Dell, and Betsy ran through the hospital doors, to find Addison striding down the hall talking into the phone, "Come on, come on, come on! Derek. I need you."

Avery froze as she watched several doctors flanked by Addison, Sam, and Naomi wheeling Archer in a stretcher towards the emergency room doors.

Addison was holding her phone, "Okay the Med evac.'s going to meet us at Santa Monica airport. We'll be in Seattle in less than 3 hours and in the OR 45 minutes later. Avery come on."

Avery trailed behind, "Can't I stay with Kevin?"

"There's no time." Addison answered as she moved to climb into the ambulance. "Nay come with me, I need you there." Addison told her best friend as she waved her over.

Naomi placed a gentle hand of Avery's shoulder, guiding her in the vehicle and the three of them climbed into the ambulance.

* * *

When they arrived at Seattle Grace Hospital Addison and Naomi got out of the ambulance first, Avery followed and scrambled to the side. She watched as Addison hugged an an older African American man and then a younger man with dark hair. She knew that it was Derek, but it all seemed so surreal, seeing him standing there.

"He was fine." Addison fought the tears, "Up until lunch I thought he was fine." He led her into the hospital as Avery trailed behind, seemingly forgotten in the chaos.

Avery watched through the glass as Addison, and _Derek_ argued over what was best for Archer. Derek seemed to win, and when they did whatever it was they were doing, the monitor flat lined.

"Get the crash cart!" the older man yelled with an air of authority as Addison turned into Naomi. Derek pounded on Archers chest with his fist causing his heart rate to jump back up to normal.

Avery pursed her lips, this was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Who are you?"

Avery looked up at the tall, dark and handsome doctor and slurped her juice box loudly, "Who are you?"

"Alex Karev, you Addison's kid?"

"I am here with Addison, yes." Avery fidgeted under his gaze.

"Whatever." Karev replied sounding annoyed, "Addison told me to look after you."

"I don't need looking after." Avery crossed her arms over her chest.

"Look this is a busy place and we can't just have random kids running around, so just sit tight and don't move." He pointed at the chair, "I have work to do. I'll check back in a bit."

"Great." Avery groaned as she flopped into the chair as she tapped her feet on the floor, "Screw this." She grumbled as she headed to Archers room.

* * *

"Hey." She greeted.

"Hey." He replied a little groggily.

"Where's Addison?" Avery asked.

"Rumour has it she's gone to church." He snorted as Avery sat down on his bed.

"Are you really dying?" she asked him straight up.

He paused a moment, "I think so."

Avery was quiet, "I'm sorry."

"Life's a bitch." He replied.

* * *

Avery lingered at the door to the chapel, watching as Addison knelt in one of the pews before taking a deep breath and going to sit beside her, "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to pray. But I don't know how to pray because I'm a WASP and we only go to church on Christmas." Addison replied.

"Oh." Avery said quietly as Addison sat back into the pew.

"I have no connection with God. God doesn't even know who I am." Addison massaged her temple with one hand. "Which sucks, because I could…I could use some help right about now."

Avery watched her a moment before she knelt forward, cleared her throat and folded her hands, "Dear God, I need your help, Archer has worms in his brain, and, from what I know, which isn't much, it's basically inoperable. I know that everyone has a time to die, but I don't think this is his, not yet. So, if there's any chance you could help us out with a miracle that would be great. Amen." She made the sign of the cross and sat back.

Addison placed her hand on her knee, "Thank you."

"You're an amazing doctor. You save babies. God knows who you are." Avery told her gently as she grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Addison forced a small smile before looking around, "Do you really believe in all this? In God?"

Avery shrugged, "Sometimes."

* * *

Alex Karev burst into the observation room. "You!" he pointed at Avery. "I told you not to move!"

"It's okay Karev." Addison informed him without looking away as she stood with her fist on the glass, resting her head against it. "Say it Derek, come on, say it, say it, say it, say it," she muttered.

"Okay everybody," the man who was Avery's father announced, "It's a beautiful day to save lives."

Addison smiled, relaxing, if only slightly.

* * *

Archer was in recovery with Naomi as Avery paced back and forth. She really did hate hospitals, apparently inheriting neither parents love for medicine.

A woman with her dirty blond hair pulled up in a ponytail approached her.

"You okay?" she asked.

Avery glanced at her, "Do you know where Addison is?" Avery asked feeling like a broken record, and despite her normally independent streak, it was getting late and she was exhausted.

The woman nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder, "I think she's in Dr. Sheppard's office, lets go find them."

* * *

"Derek, you have no idea how much I…" Addison took a deep breath and locked eyes with her former husband. "Thank you, for saving Archer."

He smiled, "You're welcome."

Addison wrung her hands together, "So, um, seeing as I'm here, there's something you should probably know."

Derek looked at her a little skeptically, "Okay." He nodded, "What is it?"

"The girl that came with me." Addison began.

"Naomi?"

"Avery."

"Okay…" Derek wracked his brain to recall this girl Addison was talking about with all that had been going on. Everything had happened so fast and the day seemed a blur.

"She's my daughter." Addison came out and said.

Derek's minds eye locked onto the girl standing beside the ambulance, "She's a teenager."

Addison looked to the side and nodded. "Remember when we were in Med school, and I um," she picked at her cuticles, "I broke up with you for a while."

"A year give or take." He replied before placing the pieces together, "Addison what are you trying to say?" his voice turned icy.

"She's our daughter Derek." Addison admitted quietly, "I gave her up for adoption because I knew you wouldn't be able to, and I couldn't, I couldn't be a mother, not then."

He raised his eyebrows, "Is this one of your ploys to get me back?"

"Ploys?" Addison repeated, "Seriously?"

"I'm with Meredith now."

"I know Derek, but that doesn't change the past." Addison replied.

"No." he shook his head and turned away from her.

"I'm sorry." Addison's voice shook slightly, "I don't want anything from you."

"No!" he yelled, startling her, before he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, "How could you not tell me?" his voice was cold.

"Derek." She took a step towards him.

Derek took a step back, "Don't." he shook his head, before pointing a finger at her, "How do you even know she's mine?"

Addison narrowed her eyes, "Trust me, she's yours."

Derek ran his hands over his face before sinking down into the chair, head in hands, "Get out." He told her.

"Derek." Addison tried again.

"Get out!" he yelled, "I don't want to _look_ at you anymore." He growled before dropping his head once again.

A knock startled both of them as the office door was pushed open. Derek looked up from his hands as Addison looked over her shoulder.

"Meredith." Derek breathed.

"Avery." Addison frowned.

Meredith raised her eyebrows as she looked between them, "Are we interrupting?"


	12. Chapter 12

**You don't wear my chains**

"Derek. Derek!" her heels clicked frantic little beats on the linoleum floor as he walked away from her and she chased after him.

"She has your eyes! Your nose! Your hair- well, kind of a combination of our hair but that's not really the point." Addison called after him, hand in the air before it dropped to her side when he slowed.

"I want a paternity test."

"No." she responded almost immediately.

Derek raised his eyebrows and scoffed, "So you just expect me to believe this girl is my child without proof. She could be anyone's child."

"Derek." Meredith scolded.

"Addison." Avery groaned.

"Derek, look at her." Addison tried again. "Just, look at her. She's yours, she's ours."

Derek took a long hard look at Avery, "I'm sorry, I just don't see it."

"Oh common on Derek!" Addison was loosing her patience, "You don't see it because you don't want to see it."

"I'll take the paternity test. Whatever." Avery intervened, "But lets be clear," she stepped in front of Addison somewhat protectively, "When the results come back and say you're my father, and they will, I want nothing to do with you." And with that she turned on her heel and stalked away.

When Avery was out of eat shot, Addison narrowed her eyes and hissed, "She hates doctors, and hospitals, and needles! That's why I didn't want her to have a bunch of unnecessary tests done."

"Great." Derek replied sarcastically, "I'm sure she'll fit right in."

* * *

Meredith prepared the needle to draw blood for the paternity test, "You're just going to feel a small pinch." She told the girl softly as she rolled up her sleeve.

Avery nodded and looked away, but Meredith could see the faded remains of scars that lined the girls arm.

"Derek, he, he'll come around." She told her. When she received no answer she retracted the needle, "All finished." She placed a Band-Aid on the girl's arms

"Are you his girlfriend?" Avery asked as she pulled her sleeve down immediately.

"I am." Meredith answered as she stood, "I'm just going to run these to the lab and grab your discharge papers." She disappeared leaving Avery alone in the curtained room as she let out a shaky breath, suddenly feeling the need to just breath in the claustrophobic hospital when the curtain was once again pulled open.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Addison sat down on the bed, "I'm sorry about all that."

"He deserves to know for sure." Avery replied after a moment.

Addison nodded, "You're right." Now that she knew Archer was going to be okay, her focus once again shifted to Avery. "You look exhausted." The girl had developed dark circles under her eyes but she shrugged and looked away.

Addison nodded before standing, "Lets get you to a hotel then."

* * *

Avery had changed into her pyjamas and curled up in her bed, facing away from the bed Addison was sleeping in.

She felt the weight of the bed sink down behind her, "It's okay to be disappointed." Addison told her softly.

"It's hard to be disappointed when you have no expectations." Avery replied, staying turned away from Addison.

"Still, Derek shouldn't have…" she trailed off with a small sigh, knowing she shouldn't have sprung it on him like that, especially after he had just saved her brothers life. And he _was_ entitled to a paternity test, but she had just been trying to protect her daughter because that was the most important thing now.

"It doesn't matter Addison, really, I'm used to people not wanting me." Her voice was hard but a small tear leaked down her cheek.

"He doesn't not want you." Addison whispered, trying to figure out what Avery needed, she reached out to rub comforting circles on her daughters back when to her surprise, Avery turned towards her, tears streaking down her face.

"He doesn't want me." Avery choked on a sob, she was sure she was delirious from being up for 48 hours straight when she began to hyperventilate and in her distress, she allowed Addison to wrap her in her arms.

"I'm sorry." Addison whispered stroked her hair, rocking back and forth a bit, knowing there was no point in arguing with the teen.

"It doesn't matter." Avery sniffled. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Addison said nothing and just held her until her breathing slowed and she fell asleep before settling down and switching off the beside light.

Tomorrow she would talk to them both because it _did_ matter.

* * *

Addison awoke with a start as the covered lump beside her thrashed about, "Avery." She reached out to the girl sleepily.

" _Get off me!_ " Avery shrieked causing Addison to become fully awake in an instant as she retracted her hand and pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Avery, it's Addison." She said clearly.

Avery looked at her with wild eyes for a moment before jumping from the bed and began to gather a random assortment of items before she began rummaging through the drawers: pillow case, toothbrush, hairbrush, a bag of chips, a water bottle.

"Avery." Addison said a little hesitantly, aware that the girl was sleep walking.

"Where is it!" she slammed the drawer shut forcefully.

"Where is what Avery?" Addison asked gently.

"I have to get out of here…I have to…" she ran her hand through her hair before running to the door and struggling to unlock the door.

"Let me out!" she cried as she pounded on the door.

"Avery." Addison said quietly being careful not to startle the girl but Avery didn't even seem to notice her as she turned and headed to the balcony.

This time Addison's eyes widened in concern, they were on the seventh floor and she was positive Avery wouldn't survive the fall, she scrambled towards the patio just as Avery managed to get the door open.

Avery began climbing over the railing when Addison caught her by the arm and tried to pull her back over.

"Let go of me!" Avery cried wrenching her arm away.

"Avery _please_!" Addison begged, not realizing there were hot tears cascading down her cheeks.

Avery blinked and looked down at Addison who once again had a firm hold on both her arms before she looked around and then back at Addison and allowed herself to be pulled back over the railing and into Addison's arms.

Avery stood there awkwardly, "What happened?" she asked as Addison held her head to her chest.

Addison was shaking so much that it took her a moment to compose herself, when she finally pulled back to look at Avery an arms length away. "You were sleep walking."

"Oh." Avery's muttered looking away, "What time is it?"

Addison glanced inside at the digital clock, "4:30"

Avery stepped back into the hotel room and Addison followed, climbing back into bed as Avery picked up a sweater out of her duffle bag and wrapped it around her as she moved towards the door, "What are you doing?" Addison shot back up in bed.

"I just need to clear my head." Avery replied.

Addison had an internal debate about whether or not to give Avery her space. It took her all of three seconds to decide she didn't want her kid wandering the Seattle streets alone at this time of morning. "I'll come with you." She decided as she swung her legs over the bed and quickly got dressed.

* * *

Addison and Avery walked in silence all the way down to the pier, stopping only once to get coffee.

"Derek has a thing for ferry boats." Addison broke the silence.

Avery looked up at her briefly before looking back to the giant boat docked at the pier.

"He's not a bad guy you know." Addison continued.

Avery groaned, "Addison I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

"But you're upset." She reasoned.

"I was _delirious_." Avery countered, explaining her emotions off as though they were something to be ashamed of.

"I just, I don't want you to think he doesn't want you. It's not your fault he didn't believe you were his daughter, it's mine. I…I've broken his trust too many times." She sighed. "So if you want to get to know him-"

"I don't." Avery cut her off.

"He is your father."

"I don't need a father. I have you." Avery replied looking away.

Addison gave her a sad smile and poked Avery gently in the ribs, "Aw look at you being all nice."

"Don't get used to it." Avery grunted.

"So what was the nightmare about?" Addison continued.

Avery sighed, "I guess that means quiet time is over then?"

"Well you did try to jump off the balcony." Addison replied sombrely a chill running down her spine as the sight of Avery climbing over the balcony railing flashed in her mind.

"Don't remind me." Avery groaned.

Addison looked at Avery seriously, "You scared me."

"Sorry." Avery kicked at the ground with her converse shoes.

"Were you dreaming about Robbie?" Addison asked.

"No." Avery replied.

"Than what? Help me understand Avery because right now I'm freaking out here a little bit."

"Derek."

"Derek?" Addison was so not prepared for that answer, when it finally sunk in she quickly replied, "Avery, Derek would never hurt you."

Avery held up a dismissive hand, "I know, but it was a dream, it's not like I can control it."

"Do you have those dreams a lot?" Addison asked after a moment.

"It's not like you have to bar up the windows." Avery's patience was wearing thin.

"So it is reoccurring?" Addison frowned.

"It's not usually jump off the balcony bad, but yeah. Sometimes, when I meet new people I have it. It's not a big deal."

"Yes it is."

Avery sighed as she sunk down to sit, dangling her feet off the edge of the pier.

Addison sat down beside her, "In time, they'll start to fade." She offered.

"I know." Avery replied as she swung her feet back and forth, her shoes crashing against the underside of the dock, not believing her words or Addison's.

"Derek will come around." Addison told her, "Whether you want him to or not, he will."

* * *

"Derek."

Derek looked up helplessly from his desk where he had been staring absentmindedly at his paperwork.

"I put a rush on the labs for Avery's paternity test." Meredith told him as she fiddled with the folder in hand.

"And?" he asked standing.

Meredith strode forward and handed him the envelope. "I haven't looked at them yet."

Derek nodded as he accepted the envelope, hesitating only a moment before tearing it open.

Meredith watched as he stared blankly at the paper, wanting to give him time, but after several minutes of silence she asked, "What does it say?" even though she already knew. She knew the moment Addison had first said something, as she chased Derek down the hall.

Addison was right, she had Derek's eyes and his nose and hair.

"She's mine."

Meredith nodded.

Derek leaned back onto the desk and ran his hands over his face, "How could I not have seen it?"

"It's not your fault." Meredith tried to comfort him.

Derek pushed himself off the desk and headed for the door, "I have to talk to Addison."

Meredith hesitated a moment before calling after him, "Derek?"

He turned back to her.

"Does this change things between us?"

He gave her a comforting smile, "It doesn't change a thing." He replied before letting the door close behind him.

But he was wrong, Meredith thought, it changed everything.


End file.
